Why do you do these things to me? What have I done to make you want to do them? Sure, I'm not there. And, sure, maybe you were happy knowing that if I HAD been there, I would be super pissed off and smack the shit outta you. But, that's not reality. I'm NOT there, and I can't do those things. But when you lied to me...I didn't even notice...But then you told me the truth...Saying that you were sorry to ME. I'm not the one who needs to be apologized to. YOU need to have respect for YOURself. But then...When I wanted to talk to you...You blew me off for some games? But then you changed your mind, saying that you were kidding?? What? Make up your mind, you silly. I don't get it. And...What hurts me the most is that you went back on our promise. You said you would never do it again...And I promised that I would never do what I did again. I kept my promise; you didn't. I hate it when you go back to Sacramento. I absolutely hate it...Because I feel disconnected. Like I'm not even there anymore. And, your so-called friend...He did it again. He got to you. God...Why, baby?? Do you really hate yourself that much? But what really upsets me is that you could've talked to ME instead of doing that. But no. You chose the easy way out... And. I felt ignored. Unwanted. Even by the man that I love. The one who said that he loved me more than anything... I love you. I STILL love you, even after all the shit that you did. All the crap that you put yourself through. But, if you think that you should be apologizing to ME, you are sadly mistaken. Take a look at the beautiful face in the mirror. It belongs to you, even though you are not being true to yourself...Talk to me first. I'm not going to be the one to always start conversations anymore. I figure, if you really want to talk to me, you'll be the first to come out and say it. And I'm always here. Always. The home computer's going to get fixed soon. I'm using my mom's laptop temporally. And you said that you would call me!! You didn't. I hate having to worry all the time, and when you do stupid stuff like that, that doesn't make me worry any less, you know? :/

I love you David.
Always.
I have already given you my heart and I can't take it back now...

Love,
Autumn