why do you do this to me...? why do you do this to yourself...? you don't deserve to be tormented by yourself. at least, i don't think you do... but, well, i guess most people, including you, don't think like me. maybe if people did share my view on some things, the world would run smoother... maybe this wouldn't happen... why can't you see that i love you? i love you. more than anything. and i'm not going to give you up over some stupid thing like "well, i'm a loser, and you deserve better." yeah? well, what if i don't want better? what if i only want you? i love you. i always have. you're my first love. i plan on you being my last love, too. if you want me to still be around... i will be... always. that's what soul mates are for, right, baby? but, please, listen to what i have to say... i want to help you... and, maybe, some of the stuff that i tell you can benefit you in some way... i'm really trying. i don't want you to hurt... and it hurts me even more when i know that you're hurting alone... because you don't like telling others what you're feeling... including me... i don't understand that, though... i'm your girlfriend... you're supposed to tell me things that you can't tell others... that's what i'm here for... that's all i can really do right now... is listen to you and help you as much as i can... i'm your support and your encouragement... please take it. take what i'm saying and try to apply it to yourself... and, don't worry about money, baby... just give me what you have... i'm proud of you for at least getting some of the money. i knew you wouldn't be able to give me everything all at once, and that's not a problem for me. that doesn't make you a loser in my eyes. it never will. you'll never be a loser to me. you're not a failure, either. times are hard, i know that. things happen. things change. sometimes for the worse, sometimes for the better. but, all you have to do is try to change with it... but, don't put yourself down like you do. i know that you don't deserve that. and i just wish that you knew that, as well... but, well... just... be safe, ok, baby? don't do anything reckless. i care about you. i worry about you because you don't talk to me the way i talk to you, and, you hold everything inside of yourself - bottled up inside - and that worries me... you need to relax... you need to take those deep breathes i tried to get you to do, and clear your mind. they really do help. they helped me to clear my mind. but, of course, i started to cry afterwards, but, hey... this isn't about me as much as it's about you. david nguyen, calm down. don't think of all of your faults, think of what you can do. prove yourself wrong. i want you to think about how much more you would respect yourself if you got rid of all of those doubts and fears of failing... you can be more than what you are right now. i'm sure of it. you can be my wonderful david. the one i'm always telling you about. you have to believe in yourself. i believe in you. don't doubt yourself. go for it. take your life one step at a time. build it back up. life is like a grade. sometimes you might be failing the class, but you have to just work for it to bring it back up. you take tests and quizzes and you get participation points, and every time you get a good grade on something small, it adds to the overall grade, and, pretty soon, you'll have an A. i love you. believe that you can do this.


i love you, david nguyen.

love,
your autumn

why do you keep doing that??? D:


you get all depressed and say that you don't deserve me, and that i can do better, and you get me all upset and alone-feeling, but then you come back saying that you love me and you make me feel all happy and whole again, but then you go back and say that i "rather other people" and that it's "better for me" and that i should "stop associating with you", because you only "bring pain to me"? no. stop it. i am not hurting...well...i am, but not the way you're thinking. i hurt when you tell me that i need to stop LYING and that i shouldn't love you anymore. it's like, what?? that's impossible. i can't stop loving you. you are my everything, david nguyen. i love you soo much, and that's what hurts. i can't be with you when you doubt me. i can't show you that what i'm saying is true. but, honestly, sweetie, if i didn't love you, why would i even bother trying to prove it? that'd be a waste of time on my part. i don't like wasting time. i take action. and i have. it's just that it hasn't been set in motion yet. and, no, you are NOT a waste of my time. i worry about you and i care about you and want to talk to you because i love you. i never want to lose you. look, i'm sorry that you can't trust me like you used to, if ever...but c'mon, i still trust you, angel. i trust you because i LOVE you. i'm not giving up on you because i UNDERSTAND you. you're not...well...you're not very confident in yourself, and you don't have faith in yourself because you put yourself down all the time. but, david, i have faith in you. i have hope for the future, and i believe in you. that you can do anything. i love you so much. and i would give anything to be with you right now to tell you that in person. but, i can't...i can only say it in writing...and it's up to you to let go and believe me, or hold a grudge and not only bring yourself down, but also the one who loves you more than anything...
please believe me.
i'm not forcing you to...
nor am i begging you...
but i'm not lying to you.
and i'm not tricking you.

with all of my heart, i love you.

love,
your autumn

I LOVE YOU DAVID NGUYEN.

yes, i do.
and it involves you, you, you!!


Never Let Go Of Hope

One day
you will see
that it all
has finally
come together.

What you have
always
wished for
has finally
come to be.

You will
look back and
laugh at what
has passed and
you will
ask yourself,
"How did I get
through all of that?"

Just never let go of hope.
Just never quit dreaming.

And never let love
depart from your life.

~ Jancarl Campi ~

i [a c c e p t] everything now...
and. i'm very excited and determined.
you will try hard to find a place in this world.
and i will also try hard in order to keep up with you.
i have hope and faith that we will be together again.
after all, why did we meet in the first place?? :]
so yeah.

i am [p r o u d] of you baby.
and i look forward to everything you do.
i will always be here if you need support.
and. i will always support you for your own good.


i l o v e y o u b a b y .

with all of my heart.
but i will not "dwell on the past",
but i will have hope for the future.
do your best.
muah.

your autumn

it was overwhelming at first. then it got better. but now everything's changing so fast. i don't like that... i feel...empty. i feel nothing, really... i just don't know. i guess i'm happy for him. he's finally doing something that he wants to do... but will i get him back? i hope so. i want you.

















i love you.